The book was going nowhere. I'd found other work and distractions for months and given my writer's group not a single page. I still claimed to be writing a novel, but it was all in my head and in cryptic notes on wrinkled scraps of paper. Well, not all. I had sixty or seventy manuscript pages. I have a few novel starts like that, all dying in their youth, never reaching a hundred pages. If I can get to hundred manuscript pages, I will finish a book. That seems to be the critical mass for me. But the last several attempts have fallen short of that goal.
Then my last writing teacher, my mentor, and the editor of Nadir's Fire, Bill Allen, invited me down to his west Texas home for a two week stint of writing. As soon as the work on the farm subsided for the season--including a two year effort on a new barn--I took the invitation.
And now my back is sore from sitting, and my mind is mush from the emotionally draining effort of writing or revising four to eight hours a day--and a novel is growing where a whithered stem had been.
There's simply nothing else to do up here. I'm on a 6,200 foot ridge in the Davis Mountains surrounded by choola cactus, mule deer, and west Texas misfits. Damn few misfits, however. I e-mail a lot, but that's an hour of my day, and I instant message one very special person, but I can take up only so much of her time. She has a life, and I have a job: finish a novel.
Bill assumes that I will write and he will review, advise and edit. But more important to the process than that is being treated as a professional writer, with all the attendant expectaions that I will produce, and at a high level. It's more than trying to please a teacher, it's living up to my own expectations for myself. I expect professionalsim from myself up here. Everyone in the area only knows me as a writer, not a carpenter or a farm hand or weightlifting coach. I'm Bill's writer friend. Wherever I go or whatever I do here, I'm a writer. So I act like one. I write. And my back hurts, and my eyes are sore, and my carpal tunnel acts up and I keep writing. My brain rebels and doesn't want to make up one more thing, but my fingers keep moving. Becasue I'm a writer up here and that's the expectation.
Bill will get his pages every morning. And when I leave, I will have my 100 pages and many more. And I will once again have earned with sweat the right to call myself a writer without qualification.
A Brief Message for January 20, 2025
11 months ago
It’s crazy how as a reader I take for granted the finished piece. I go to the library or boarders and get a book, cuddle under a warm blanket with a hot cup of coffee and loose myself in the pages. My part is easy. I'm sure you began writing because it was something you loved to do; deep down after the physical and mental strain I'm sure you still love to write. To me it seems like it has become "work" for you - maybe you need to get back to that "happy place" that made you want to write in the first place. Now when I read a book I will appreciate it more. Thank you for the insight.
ReplyDeleteAlicia,
ReplyDeleteI have always loved telling stories. I have never liked the process of writing. What I love is having written. I set out to produce something of value, to create something that did not exist before.
That is work. No one can sustain the writing to 100,000+ words on fun and joy. That just does not happen. There are days, yes, like today, when it is so easy and turns out so well that it is joy. But on those days when there is no fun to be had, the work still has to be done if you plan to finish.
Fortunately for me, almost all people who say they want to write a novel do not try. Of those who try, almost all fail to finish one. If all who wanted to, did, there would be almost as many authors as readers.
The difference between the two groups is discipline, work ethic and trusting that the inspiration will come if you just keep your fingers moving. That is easier if you take yourself seriously, and see yourself as a professional before everyone else does.
Thank you for coming to the blog and commenting. If you stay in touch, I'll let you know as soon as the new book is out.
Dan
I will keep in touch, reading is something I have enjoyed since I was able to do so. When I am reading the stress of everyday life melts away. I can be anyone at anytime, anywhere. Writing is a gift that few have the patience to open. I'm glad to have shared your gift.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE reading all of this Dan. What a great point about writing when we FEEL like a writer. i may have to consider how to get back to that. Without classes or deadlines or expectations maybe we truly get bogged down. I'm so excited to read your new stuff too . (I also liked the s"special person" part - how's that going?)
ReplyDeleteHey Dan, not sure if I have a current e-mail for you. I heard from Deb who heard from Pat H. who heard from Mardy that you've found a good woman and that you are getting married or just got married. Congratulations!
ReplyDelete